Tag Archives: strength

Vision thru’ a broken window

The earth’s about five thousand million years old.
Who can afford to live in the past?
Harold Pinter 

She has never felt like this before, what is this feeling that she can’t explain? Could this be love, she asks in her mind. And then she remembers and smiles.
This is how her life has been since they met, around him she always felt no need to pretend or to put up facades to protect who she is. With him she was happy being herself. Whenever she hears his voice her heart skips a beat, whenever they are together she yearns to be free like the wind. But in all her happiness she holds back never giving in fully. She is tied down by a haunting memory of decades ago, the memory of an incident that drove her to build walls round her heart. Walls that were meant to keep her from getting hurt. Since the day that memory came into existence she has trusted no man and with good reason too.

Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti 

So now even in her joy and happiness, she is expecting to wake up and find out it’s just a dream. But she hangs on as if on tenterhooks wanting to believe and hoping it’s not a dream.
She can’t remember the last time she had a clear thought since meeting him, her mind is all muddled up and she wonders if she has not lost it. But then if only this feeling can continue she can give her mind for it. In the little moment of “sanity” she gets, she wonders what this feeling is that could break down barriers that are decades strong and still standing. As she begins to get lost in the feeling, the memory comes back more vivid than ever almost in high definition reminding her of what she has suffered and the pain she went through.
She knows the memory was forged in pain and her heart only seeks to protect her; but she must make a decision, either to jump or to stay.
Afraid of tomorrow unknown, guided only by a past experienced she looks at the world through a broken window. So the image she sees is always fractured, fractured by an experience forever etched in her memory. After what seems like an eternity of deliberation, she decides on a course of action.
She decided to take a leap of faith into the unknown, into this vortex of feelings she doesn’t understand she decides to give herself. She decides that her past will no longer define her; she has to live to shame the memory that haunts her and has kept her in chains for decades. She decides to love him as much as he loved her and to open her heart fully to his embrace. And since she took that decision, she has never had course to worry and has never looked back.

Dedicated to all sexually abused women who are finding it hard to give their hearts fully to another.


Are you a miracle ?

A miracle is always associated with the divine, the supernatural, unexplainable, the creator or God himself however our beliefs want to understand it. A miracle does not contradict nature rather it strengthens it.
Nature is about causes and effects but as someone said , a miracle circumvents nature’s laws. So a miracle is an effect for which there is no known physical cause. It is not making a rabbit disappear or turning a handkerchief into a butterfly.
That brings us to today’s reflection. You were conceived a number of years ago, and inspite of the uphill task, you survived thru out pregnancy and was delivered safely. Today you are a child , a teenager or an adult maybe even a parent. And despite all the battles you fought along the way, you are here .
You fought health issues , emotional issues, psychological issues disabilities but you are still standing tall.


Your parents died when you were just a child and nobody  gave you any chance at success. Now you have achieved a measure of success bringing shame to your detractors.
Your life stopped because you had to care for your siblings, when your parents were physically present but emotionally absent. You lost your childhood because you had to grow up quickly and be the adult in the home that your parents were supposed to be.
You were raped by a trusted friend or abused by a parent (sexually or physically even emotionally). Or maybe you had a child you were not prepared for and your life took a sharp turn down hill.
But today you are here with a life or an accomplishment worth celebrating.  You have been thru thick and thin, thru the fog and the rain .  You have survived where others died, stood tall where many fell flat. Yes the weather has been harsh, but you came in for a landing, you struggled but you made a perfect landing. Or maybe you are still trying to land, negotiating the turns and thunderstorms but eventually you will land on your feet.
So what are you my dear, a miracle or a magic trick?


What I have learnt.

Today is my reminiscing day ,so I am reposting something from my archives. I hope it does you right.


As my life continues to unfold before me, these are lessons I have learnt and keep learning. The knowledge journey for me does not end and so should yours.

Peace is not the absence of war or strife. It is the stillness of the heart in tumultuous times.
Courage is not the absence of fear it is the overriding desire not to conform to the expectations of your weaknesses.
Strength is not the size of your muscle mass. Its your ability to show your real self without masking your deficiencies.
Wisdom is no longer the result of gray . But the result of learning from experiences and making “flash cards” of the lessons so others can learn too.
Obedience is neither servitude nor acting without questioning. It is rather acting based on a conviction that you are free and so have a right to explanations when you are conflicted.
Parenting is not having children. Its being responsible enough to have children and raise them accordingly, to be your lasting legacy for good.
Marriage is not a ceremony. Its a “work in progress” that lasts a lifetime.
An adolescent is not a rebel. Rather he/she is a person constantly shouting ” I want to find me, please help”.
Success is not an event. It is everyday that you find out you have moved beyond where you were the day before.
Failure is inevitable. Except you want to return to your maker like an unwrapped gift box, you must fail so you can succeed.
The feminine gender does not mean weakness. It means a partaker in creation and a reservoir of strength beyond compare.
Tears do not come from the eyes. They come from the heart when they are genuine.
Life is short. But our ideas and actions are immortal.
Whether because of the “big bang” or creation, we are here to change this world for the better. So why not start with you.

Fear, my companion

Fear strikes and I am frozen

Mesmerized and immobilized.

But I am beholden to faith not to fear

So I try to feign courage even though my heart pounds

Sweat droplets form on my brow and a shiver runs thru my body

But I stand “unafraid”

I imagine all sorts, even as I try to subdue my fearful  mind

Fear the conqueror of champions

The nuisance that threatens my well laid plans 

I can’t fight my fears cos they loom so large

I don’t want to fight them cos’ they will drain my strength

So I acknowledge them and greet them well

And face the task of building my dream

Yes I am afraid

But my fear is a part of me

And can no more slow me down than I allow it to

So come along my fearful self

We will yet achieve a lot together.


Man over Mind

In a previous post I was keenly looking for the location of the mind in my anatomy. After due search and a series of conversations, I have come to the conclusion that its an intangible. That inasmuch as we refer to the mind as if its physical its far from so. It is rather an abstract that has a lot of influence over our physical. So that brings me to my present reflection: The mind as a power house.

The mind as some have described, is the seat of memory, wisdom and emotions among others. It is the engine room of our “intangible being”. The strength of the mind decides the strength of the individual. Weak minded people are never do wells , they are moving from goal to goal, vision to vision. They are undisciplined and so they function as a boat without a rudder.

The mind is not an independent enterprise, you are absolutely and completely in control of your mind. That is if you wish.

Often times we have described people as weak,it is only because they have not built up their minds to be strong enough. It is like a computer, “gabbage in gabbage out”. What you want to become is what you should expose your mind to. Strong minded people have always shown focus and discipline in whatever pursuit they are involved in.

Feeding your mind right is at the base of having a fully functional and effective mind. Be extremely  careful of the influences your allow your mind to be exposed to. It is a sponge that soaks up whatever comes its way, good or bad.

The mind is a very powerful thing so much so that when you give up your control over it ,it controls you. In medicine they talk about psychosomatic disorders. These are disorders that begin from the mind and then manifest in the body. Thats an oversimplification of the process just so you understand the power of your mind.

This is a clarion call to be “transformed by the renewal of your mind” even as the Holy Bible exhorts.

I wish I knew a lot of things that I know now growing up but then learning never stops. So now I am making a commitment to myself to position my mind where it will help me be a better person and not let irrelevancies burden my mind. You should do so for yourself too.


Silence: The absence of sound.

The sound that follows death.

The goal of the priest.

The prerequisite to hear God.

Silence: The gentle greeting of the breeze.

The impossible situation at the market place.

The inevitability of the human Spirit.

The punishment of the child.

Silence: The unyielding hold of the graveyard.

The sound that screams loudest on the inside.

The place of reflection and renewal

The place where all strength is weakness

Silence: The antidote to foolish talk.

The power that engages the wheels of the intellect.

The oil that lubricates the gears of the mind.

The place where all things are nought.

Silence: The place of creativity.

The place of no limitations.

The birth place of genius.

The place of self discovery.

Silence: The paradox of modern day living.

Be the Anomaly

To dare to be different is courage.

To choose to ask “why” is wisdom.

Never be lost in the multitude.

Never lose who you are.

Be uncompromising on matters of principles.

Be steadfast on matters of faith.

Having a large following does not mean you are right.

Having few followers does not mean you are wrong.

In actions and choices be like no one.

In actions and choices find your path and stay there.

Don’t despise success because you are not successful yet.

Don’t despise small beginnings because you think success is an event.

Better to stand among friends than to sit among enemies.

Better to stand with your integrity than to take the high seat in dishonesty.

Be ready to learn from all (even the thief).

Be ready to treat all the same (even those who disagree with you).

Don’t be ruled by your goals and desires.

Dont be weak when you need to show strength.

Don’t postpone what you can finish now.

Dont schedule for planning what needs no plans.

Respect your subordinate’s right to exist and breathe the same air you breathe.

Respect your boss’s right to grab on to the chance that made him your boss.

To impact this life choose to be an anomaly.

To impact generations be more than the chances that life throws your way.

There is only one of you in this life, so you are already an anomaly. You have only to make a conscious decision to live as such.

I dont regret a mile

I was doing some research lately and came upon this wonderful piece by Howard Goodman. It talks of perseverance and hope. I hope it blesses you as it did me.

I ‘ve dreamed many a dream thats never come true,

I ve seen them vanish at dawn,

But enough of my dreams have come true,

To make me keep dreaming on.

I ve prayed many a prayer that seemed no answer would come,

Though I d waited so patient and long,

But enough answers have come to my prayers,

To make me keep prayin on.

I ve sown many a seed thats fallen by the wayside,

For the winds to feed upon,

But I ve held enough golden sheaves in my hands

To make me keep sowing on.

I ve trusted many a friend thats failed me,

And left me to weep alone

But enough of my friends have been true blue

To make me keep trusting on.

I ve drained the cup of disappointment and pain,

And gone many a day without song

But I ve sipped enough nectar from the roses of life

To make me want to live on.

Howard Goodman