Tag Archives: love

Other people’s thoughts

“Most modern freedom is at root fear. It is not so much that we are too bold to endure rules; it is rather that we are too timid to endure responsibilities.”
G.K. Chesterton

“Merely having an open mind is nothing. The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.”
G.K. Chesterton

“It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.”  J.R.R. Tolkien

“Compassion is the most important and perhaps the only law of all humanity.” Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“I don’t think purity is mere innocence; I don’t think babies and idiots possess it. I take it to be something that comes either with experience or with Grace so that it can never be naïve.”
Flannery O’ Connor

“Moral principles do not depend on a majority vote. Wrong is wrong, even if everybody is wrong. Right is right, even if nobody is right.”
Archbishop Fulton Sheen.


Poverty of living…..

I once knew a man
Whose story will break your heart.

He was born at midday
He died at midnight 56years later.

He lived wealthy and connected
But he died having no friends and was buried alone.

His life was focused on pursuit
Not of happiness but of wealth.

Not of relationships
But of avenues to riches.

So he made his first million at 23
And a billion 10years later.

But the drive never waned
Neither did the desire for more lessen.

So he chose money over Human beings
And investments over family.

Was he happy?
I can never say, a part of him must have been.

Was he lonely?
Definitely, he was.

And so he missed living
Because he was chasing the things he thought were valuable.

He missed the beauty of the rising sun
The beautiful landscapes that flew by his car window.

He was still wealthy in money at death
But was strikingly poor in friends

He had money, more than enough.
But he couldn’t buy love and affection.

He couldn’t buy a genuine “how are you?”
By the time he understood what he lost,he had reached his end.

His last words were brief and deep.
“In my next life , if there is such, I will choose friends over money, love over wealth, family over investments for wealth without these is nothing but poverty covered with expensive clothes”.


Vision thru’ a broken window

The earth’s about five thousand million years old.
Who can afford to live in the past?
Harold Pinter 

She has never felt like this before, what is this feeling that she can’t explain? Could this be love, she asks in her mind. And then she remembers and smiles.
This is how her life has been since they met, around him she always felt no need to pretend or to put up facades to protect who she is. With him she was happy being herself. Whenever she hears his voice her heart skips a beat, whenever they are together she yearns to be free like the wind. But in all her happiness she holds back never giving in fully. She is tied down by a haunting memory of decades ago, the memory of an incident that drove her to build walls round her heart. Walls that were meant to keep her from getting hurt. Since the day that memory came into existence she has trusted no man and with good reason too.

Better by far you should forget and smile Than that you should remember and be sad.
Christina Rossetti 

So now even in her joy and happiness, she is expecting to wake up and find out it’s just a dream. But she hangs on as if on tenterhooks wanting to believe and hoping it’s not a dream.
She can’t remember the last time she had a clear thought since meeting him, her mind is all muddled up and she wonders if she has not lost it. But then if only this feeling can continue she can give her mind for it. In the little moment of “sanity” she gets, she wonders what this feeling is that could break down barriers that are decades strong and still standing. As she begins to get lost in the feeling, the memory comes back more vivid than ever almost in high definition reminding her of what she has suffered and the pain she went through.
She knows the memory was forged in pain and her heart only seeks to protect her; but she must make a decision, either to jump or to stay.
Afraid of tomorrow unknown, guided only by a past experienced she looks at the world through a broken window. So the image she sees is always fractured, fractured by an experience forever etched in her memory. After what seems like an eternity of deliberation, she decides on a course of action.
She decided to take a leap of faith into the unknown, into this vortex of feelings she doesn’t understand she decides to give herself. She decides that her past will no longer define her; she has to live to shame the memory that haunts her and has kept her in chains for decades. She decides to love him as much as he loved her and to open her heart fully to his embrace. And since she took that decision, she has never had course to worry and has never looked back.

Dedicated to all sexually abused women who are finding it hard to give their hearts fully to another.


The thing about “too much”


There is a thing about the word “excess”,it always has a beautiful beginning and a very bad ending. This is exemplified in these few instances;
Excess care can turn your ward into a porcelain doll. knowing nothing of daily living he/she  depends on people for everything.
Excess love can stunt your ward’s character growth. Believing he/she does no wrong, you fail to correct even obvious wrongs.
Excess loyalty turns you into a zombie. Having a narrow view of life you fail to see the world view.
Excess talking makes you vulnerable. Because you won’t know when you spill your secrets.
Excess planning keeps your visions stagnated on the drawing board.
Excess comfort makes you lose a consciousness for want and poverty.
Excess work makes you miss out on what life is all about, living.
Excess is excessively excessive, do all in moderation and your life will be excellent.



I survived

I survived
Thru a broken heart and a lost love
Thru a failed promise and an unfulfilled dream
I survived.

I survived
Thru a mindless rage and an unforgiving spirit.
Thru untold suffering and pain
I survived.

I survived
Thru sleepless nights and headache filled days,
Thru ferocious storms and scary landslides (in my mind)
I survived

I survived grief and loss
I survived a failed marriage and a sickly child.

I survived but only by grace
I survived but only by Mercy
I survived but only by love
I survived thru it all



To my son


“Dear Son,
This type of conversations ususally start with “things were so different in my time” or “you people of this generation have it so good”. These are cliches I wish not to go into. I would rather begin by telling you that this is a conversation I wish my father had with me. I also sincerely hope i dont mess up the message I want to pass to you by allowing my desire to protect you override my desire for you to have a fulfilled life.
The world today is not so different from what it was yesterday. Cultures are still clashing, people are still trying to define what is moral and what is just, teenagers are still trying to experience life and do so without putting themselves in trouble. The challenges you face today as a teenager have the same fundamentals as the ones older people passed thru’.
As a teenager you may think the most important thing is to get a driver’s license or be able to go to a bar and order alcohol. That couldnt be further from the truth. The most important thing for you in this stage of your life is to find out who you are and be true to yourself.
Remember where you come from and the values your mum and I  tried to teach you. As you go about trying to be ypur own person, try not to be a “crowd pleaser”. Learn to assert your individuality without being arrogant. Learn to be an example of what is good among your peers without  being seen as opposed to your friends. Once in a while your peer influence will win you over, dont make a big deal out of it. You may do some wrong things you never imagined you are capable of ,learn from them and move on.
Be careful of the company you keep. Dont associate with people engaged in activities you have no interest in. Dont insult and abuse girls when you think you have a right to or because others are doing it. Respect them and be a voice for them whenever you can. Dont be a bully and dont encourage or befriend bullies as you know bad friends corrrupt good manners. Always speak for the little guy even when everybody is out for his blood. It pays to see things in a panoramic view and not a parochial one.
In this era of being politically correct and morally wrong be careful about what you say and how you say it. Don’t ever be shy about what you believe in, calmly and clearly make your stand known on specific issues. Don’t insult or abuse those who do not share your beliefs and dont shove your beliefs down everybody’s throat. People are allowed to have their own  beliefs different from yours.
In your quest for independence you will become more argumentative with your elders and even more confrontational. Learn to tone it down and balance the need to be heard with the need to respect your seniors. We will not agree on everything but with my benefit of experience I will have more insight than you in certain things. You just need to understand it and not make it a fulcrum for unhealthy exchanges.
Its not easy to find yourself but if you are dilligent enough you can be successful. At your age you will think you have a lot of years to live so you can do what you want. That will be a very wrong impression to have. Learn to live each day as if its your last. Show love, show respect, impact lives positively, reconcile with aggrieved friends and never end the day without doing a proper examination of your life for that day. In that examination note your wrongs and find ways to do better if you have a tomorrow.
No matter how angry we make you as your parents, never believe we dont have your goodwill in mind. In this stage of your development a lot of things will become irritating to you, like your little brother wanting to follow you everywhere or you having to babysit your twin sisters when you could have been out with friends. Its all part of “playing” family because you dont stand alone. You are their father when am not around so take that responsibility with all the seriousness it deserves.
Growth and development comes with its own responsibility, never think the teenage years are free of them. You will do your house chores and help out as much as you can in making the family run smoothly.
Theres so much I need you to know and I wish that you will know but I cant tell you everything. Somethings you have to learn for yourself, some wisdom you have to acquire from experience.
Of all the learning that you will do, its important that you know, understand and believe with all your heart that your family is the bedrock of your existence. No matter how hot or cold or unhealthy it gets out there, we are always here for you. I might be in “father mode” when you feel like talking. Be patient with me and allow me to help when I can. Your brothers and sisters may seem little and bothersome now just remember you were once like them. They may seem too demanding, all they need is just attention .
I and your mum love you son, we may never say or show it enough but just remember that we are always here for you. We have tried to teach you values that will guide your life for a long time to come and we trust you to make your mistakes learn from them and go on to become the great person that you are meant to be.
Love Dad.


Questioning our idea of love

  1. Why do we champion love only around the 14th of February?

Does it occur to you that love remembered only on one day in a year is very fickle?

Why can’t we celebrate love everyday of the year and then let the 14th of February be a norm and not an exception?

I may stand alone but I think Valentine’s day has become a day of deception for a whole lot of people.

He gives you a treat so you forget the monster he is, if only for a day.

You wake up to notice  rose petals all over your bed and on the floor, leading you to a scented bath. Has he done that in the last 4years you have known him, or he remembers only because it is Valentine’s day.


Plan and work towards a year filled with love rather than a Day filled with love.

Sometimes we get tired of waiting  for love from those that claim to love us because our love glands have shriveled from disuse.

Have a lovely experience of love, the type that is true and deep and genuine. The type that lives forever and stands the test of strength and time.