As my life continues to unfold before me, these are lessons I have learnt and keep learning. The knowledge journey for me does not end and so should yours.
Peace is not the absence of war or strife. It is the stillness of the heart in tumultuous times.
Courage is not the absence of fear it is the overriding desire not to conform to the expectations of your weaknesses.
Strength is not the size of your muscle mass. Its your ability to show your real self without masking your deficiencies.
Wisdom is no longer the result of gray . But the result of learning from experiences and making “flash cards” of the lessons so others can learn too.
Obedience is neither servitude nor acting without questioning. It is rather acting based on a conviction that you are free and so have a right to explanations when you are conflicted.
Parenting is not having children. Its being responsible enough to have children and raise them accordingly, to be your lasting legacy for good.
Marriage is not a ceremony. Its a “work in progress” that lasts a lifetime.
An adolescent is not a rebel. Rather he/she is a person constantly shouting ” I want to find me, please help”.
Success is not an event. It is everyday that you find out you have moved beyond where you were the day before.
Failure is inevitable. Except you want to return to your maker like an unwrapped gift box, you must fail so you can succeed.
The feminine gender does not mean weakness. It means a partaker in creation and a reservoir of strength beyond compare.
Tears do not come from the eyes. They come from the heart when they are genuine.
Life is short. But our ideas and actions are immortal.
Whether because of the “big bang” or creation, we are here to change this world for the better. So why not start with you.
By design memories are born of the past. You have to live through the reality for you to have its memory. A contradiction will be to create a reality from a “memory” that never was, but will be.
So I have a “memory” of how I will play with my kids, even though I am not yet married. I want to create a reality based on what I am happy with in my mind. Motivational speakers teach us to do no less when they say, “envision it first, then set about achieving it”.
With this as the background, I want to reflect on my ” future memories”:
• I saw myself become all I am meant to be and impact lives far beyond my physical space.
• I remember being a mentee of greatness and later a mentor to greatness
• I feel awesome when my kids look at me and know without a doubt, that I love them exceedingly.
• I have always been there for my family in and out of the storm.
• I cherish and protect my family with all that I am and have.
• I have made myself available to be a listening ear to tales that unburden others’ souls, but I can repeat to no man.
• I have tried to be logical in my counsels, working hard to be above sentiments .
• To be able to hear a man’s soul and not his words alone is my greatest gift.
• I have laboured all my life to be one thing to all men and women; a man struggling to live right.
What are your future memories?
I understand you,
At least I think I do.
And that informs why I do somethings,
Its because I think you might like them.
Allow me my “lie”.
Even if you think I don’t understand you.
Because in my “lie” , I make effort.
Take away my reality and I loose my reason to try.
My “lie” is my reality.
It’s my hope for an awesome relationship.
Its my practice of knowing you
Its my trial at meeting your needs.
I know I know you.
You might think otherwise.
But you will read this and smile.
And that is how I know ,I know u.
There was a time when I could only talk about my tomorrow in whispers. This was because it was so fragile, I was afraid the wind will blow it away. But today I am here, and what was once a dream is now my reality.
Hope is indispensable to the attainment of your goals and the fulfillment of your dreams. It is indispensable for a better tomorrow.
No matter how bad it is now, dare to dream and have the courage to hope for an awesome tomorrow.
(From the archives)
Death is not the end . It is rather the beginning of eternity.
Emotions are not weaknesses. They are fulcrums upon which we define our humanity.
Time is not unlimited. It is measured in the rising and setting of the sun.
Hope does not die. It lasts forever for he who so desires it.
Risk is not jumping off a bridge, hoping the water will save you. It is rather jumping off a bridge after making sure the factors that will aid your fall and cushion your landing are in place.
A drunk is not always wrong. Sometimes he says the truth that we dont want to hear.
Being alive is not about sleeping and waking. It is about having an interaction with people and environment, being felt wherever you go.
Religion is not about mosques, churches, temples or other places of worship. It is about your personal relationship with God.
Expertise is not about knowing everything. Its about knowing enough of everything to have a meaningful conversation.
Sight is beyond what the eyes see. It is more about what the mind perceives.
Care is not about provision. Its about your being present when necessary.
Books may hold the key to knowledge. But life experience holds the key to wisdom.
Patience is not always rewarding. But it is always hopeful and fulfilling.
Music is not just about sound. It is about both sound and words.
Animal pets can’t take the place of human friends. No matter the argument you put forward, they are still animals and you still need to relate with your species.
Passion can’t be subdued. It always finds a way to boil over and give excitement when needed.
It is not hard to dress well. You are always addressed as you are dressed.
The sun is not just to light your path. Its there to tell you that “another cycle has begun, make the best of it.”
Your boss is not your friend. He/she is a “slave driver” that must make returns to his/her own bosses.
No matter how bad your day is take a minute to relive your successes and victories, your good times and great times. And in them find courage and hope to attempt life again on a positive note.
To listen is an art to listen well is a gift to the person that you lend your ears. Listening is beyond being present and showing interest, what follows is my take on how to listen and make a difference.
Show interest ,it makes a lot of difference talking to somebody interested in what you have to say.
Don’t just listen , pay attention to the words and the nuances.
Don’t open your ears and close your mind, open both and allow the words find a home in you.
Don’t interrupt , allow the person to talk to his/her hearts content.
Don’t be in a hurry to talk or offer solutions.
Think deeply before you speak, if you must speak.
Most times we just need a listening ear not a “problem solver”.
Never tell a story of how you had a similar problem and how you overcame it. It shifts the focus to you, which is unacceptable.
Don’t be judgemental because of what you hear. We can never know our capacity until we face a similar situation.
Don’t look nonchalant, it could be frustrating and end a conversation before it ever starts.
Be patient and appear wise and reflective even if you don’t have any idea how to help. By listening you are already helping.
Be encouraging, listening is like coaxing lava out of a volcano 🙂
Confidentiality must be absolute. You can’t reference a past discussion to make a point in a new one. (Difficult but doable).
You must try and be reserved, taciturn, quiet or you will find yourself telling people’s secrets without meaning to.
Don’t be flippant or disregard people’s concerns. One mans worry is another man’s peace of mind.
Ultimately listening enriches both individuals and leaves lasting impressions (good or bad).
This list is by no means exhaustive. Be a good listener.
Woman thou art loosed !!!
Loosed from servitude and emotional bondage.
Loosed from inferiority complex and subservience to man.
Loosed from thinking being career conscious is an aberration.
Woman thou art loosed.
Loosed from thinking your destiny is to satisfy man sexually.
Loosed from emotional and physical abuse.
Loosed from thinking you were created lesser than a man.
Woman thou art loosed.
Loosed from thinking “there is no other way”.
Looses from debasing yourself in the name of culture.
Loosed from seeing marriage as the “only end”.
Woman thou art loosed.
Loosed from accepting dehumanization in the name of marriage.
Loosed from keeping quiet in the face of sexual harassment.
Loosed from thinking your body is the key to success.
Woman thou art loosed
Loosed from the lewd eyes of rapists and pedophiles.
Loosed from accepting blame for man’s sexual irresponsibility.
Loosed from thinking that love is not complete without abuse.
Woman thou art loosed
Loosed from telling your daughters “they can’t make it without men”.
Loosed from sweeping your daughter’s sexual abuse under the carpet, for the sake of “peace”.
Loosed from walking the streets naked ,because you think thats what attracts men.
Woman thou art loosed from all things that burden your mind and delay your moving to the heights God made you for.
Be loosed, be free and be transformed from inside out!!!!!