Category Archives: personal development

Failure as a stage of success

We live in a world that glorifies success and rightly so. We celebrate the successful and despise the failures, success stories become “motivational” speeches on how to “make it” in life. The successful become celebrities and famous, be it in politics or film ,in industry or science we make celebrities out of those who have achieved.

Now there is nothing wrong in that, except that in celebrating a point in a journey we forget and unconsciously neglect the whole journey. So those who fail amount to nothing, are not reckoned with are despised and  not allowed to talk.

We have naively chosen to forget that success is neither spontaneous nor instantaneous. There is no “big break”, no ” epiphany”, rather success is a  process at the beginning of which you will almost certainly find failure.

The enigma of the Living, is that he who lives has to fail in other to succeed. By trying and failing, you have become a little bit more successful than you were before you failed.

Why?

For every attempt you make to succeed, you break down barriers and obstacles first in your own mind before you go ahead to make an outward effort to be successful. That’s a measure of success; believing that you are more than what you see and striving for greater things.

The problem with failing is not in its nature but in its interpretation. The individual who fails loses self esteem , becomes discouraged, gives up at times , becomes frustrated at other times. But it is in those who see failure as a learning experience and a spring board to try again that you glimpse the power of failure to push , to encourage to motivate to strive more to work harder. It is all because they understand failure not to be the end but a point in the journey just like success ddoes

Some people fail to succeed so they may end up valuing the success more, others succeed without failing they may despise failure and think success is a right, while still some may succeed just to fail ,when they find success again they are wiser and better understand that life is full of points but each stop doesn’t define the journey only the end does.

It is said that the coward dies a thousand times before his death, but I say  the one who fails succedes a thousand times before his triumph.

®Fr

To catch a falling star

Chill, I talk not of the heavenly body
Indeed not of celebrities.

It is of average men and women
Who daily lose hope and give up their dreams.

“Stars” that felt they no longer shine
Or they have no reason to give light.

We are all stars, in this world
And it’s because of us that the world is bright.

Our skills and talents,
Our compassion and empathy.

Our love and dedication,
Our ability to be visionaries and pace setters.

But sometimes we forget the reason that we shine.
We forget that we give light to others.

In those moments, it is “I” over us
And so we need an energy boost.

We need to be reminded, that our lives matter.
That we no longer exist for ourselves alone.

That our being able to shine brightly
Is a source of hope for another dimming star.

We encounter failure and question the need to go on.
We are met with obstacles and we wonder if it’s worth the stress.

But then you have to pass thru the thorny branches to reach the Rose.
You have to dig thru the mud to find the gold.

The heavenly stars are so far away, millions of light years away.
Yet they give light to us wayfarers down here.

In this our interconnected world,
Distance has been blurred and so our light reaches the ends of the earth.

We inspire beyond our immediate space and time zone
We are encouraged by lives beyond our physical reach.

So why not encourage and motivate somebody by your story.
You just might catch a falling star.

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©Fr

Hope

Hope!!!!
The live wire of our existence, the persistence in tears.
The vision that never fades, the walk that stumbles but never stops.

Hope!!!!
Allowing tomorrow’s dream ,drown today’s reality.
Seeing what other’s can’t see.

Hope!!!
Four letters that form four rungs of the shortest ladder to tomorrow.
The safest bridge to your future.

Hope!!!
My consolation in failure
My motivation in success.
My persistence in tribulations.

Hope!!!! I have known you and yet I will know you again.

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©Fr

My counsellor, my shrink

I find a friend in my pen
An associate in parchment.

My guilt lifter
My mood changer

To them I owe explanations
To them I empty my soul

My frustrations they know
My disappointments they know

They don’t judge me
They don’t criticize my actions

My pact with them is simple and lasting
“Be empty and I will fill you with my heart contents”

They have been there in laughter and in tears
They have stood by me, strong and unwavering.

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I approach them overflowing
And I leave empty and fulfilled

My pen and my paper,
Counsellors no man can fault

A listening ear that bears no deceit
A well that is bottomless

That’s why I write
Cos my heart attains tranquility after a session with my pen and paper.

©Fr

Who am I ?

From the archives

I am a girl and that is my crime

I must be shuttered and cloistered

I must be seen and not heard

Am I less of a human than my brother?

I am neither allowed to dream nor aspire

I am a wife and mother; that is all I am allowed to be

I can’t be right even if everybody is wrong

Am I a lesser creature than my husband?

I am a gem but I am not valued

I have rights that exist only in statute books

I exist but only to satisfy a man

Did God create me a slave or a free born?

From a young age I have always known my body was an asset

From lascivious stares of men on my teenage body

To groping in the dark and rape in broad daylight

What is it with men and uncontrolled libido?

I know I was created as man was ,by God

To be a helpmate and not a subject

Yet I bear the guilt of an oversexed society

Can’t the wandering eyes of men decide not to see?

I only want to live as I was created

To aspire and dream like every child of God

To be seen as an image of God and not a lower being than “man”

Is that too much to ask from a supposed intelligent species?

©Fr

Today’s newness and what it offers

I wonder how far or fast you can go today if you carry yesterday’s burdens and woes into today. Today has enough problems of its own waiting patiently for solutions. So why tie yourself down and then complain that you are not moving fast enough.
Let the worries and frustrations of each day end with it and begin each day on a brand new slate.
Today is a new day, the first of April , 2016; there’s only one of today in existence why not make it count?
Joy is a choice, to be happy also is a choice ,to be swallowed up in sadness is within you sphere of decision making, to feel lost and frustrated always is also a choice. I am not saying don’t feel sad or depressed or frustrated at times , of course those will come. I am saying don’t let the failures of yesterday deny you of today’s joy, don’t let the fears of last month deny of this month’s adventure , don’t get stuck in a cycle of pain and worry and so forget to live, or to fight for the things that matter.

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Start today and this month with a mindset to “put away the ranger and be the king you were born to be.”
Live a conscious life today and this month not on cruise control and see yourself blossom and become more than you thought you can be.

©Fr

Flowing with life or not…..

It’s an amazing feeling to move without action, at least not any action you perform. To glide through life without any effort on your part.
Swimmers will describe the peace they experience when they just lie back and go where the current carried them. No hand strokes or breast strokes or butterfly strokes ; just be there and the waters will do the rest.
The downside in all this experience is that you end up going where you did not wish to go.
If you don’t have a dream, your life will be spent helping others achieve theirs.
Why flow with life’s currents when you can make an intentional pursuit of a life goal.
Those who are wise said “sustained success is never an accident”. It is intentional, it is planned for and worked towards. When you have an unplanned ” success” ,it doesn’t last. The proceeds of such a success are finished long before you know you were successful.
So, the easy way or the hard way?  Flow with life’s currents or forge your path through the waters of life.

©Fr

Learning

As my life continues to unfold before me, these are lessons I have learnt and keep learning. The knowledge journey for me does not end and so should yours.

Peace is not the absence of war or strife. It is the stillness of the heart in tumultuous times.
Courage is not the absence of fear it is the overriding desire not to conform to the expectations of your weaknesses.
Strength is not the size of your muscle mass. Its your ability to show your real self without masking your deficiencies.
Wisdom is no longer the result of gray . But the result of learning from experiences and making “flash cards” of the lessons so others can learn too.
Obedience is neither servitude nor acting without questioning. It is rather acting based on a conviction that you are free and so have a right to explanations when you are conflicted.
Parenting is not having children. Its being responsible enough to have children and raise them accordingly, to be your lasting legacy for good.
Marriage is not a ceremony. Its a “work in progress” that lasts a lifetime.
An adolescent is not a rebel. Rather he/she is a person constantly shouting ” I want to find me, please help”.
Success is not an event. It is everyday that you find out you have moved beyond where you were the day before.
Failure is inevitable. Except you want to return to your maker like an unwrapped gift box, you must fail so you can succeed.
The feminine gender does not mean weakness. It means a partaker in creation and a reservoir of strength beyond compare.
Tears do not come from the eyes. They come from the heart when they are genuine.
Life is short. But our ideas and actions are immortal.
Whether because of the “big bang” or creation, we are here to change this world for the better. So why not start with you.

The thing about “too much”

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There is a thing about the word “excess”,it always has a beautiful beginning and a very bad ending. This is exemplified in these few instances;
Excess care can turn your ward into a porcelain doll. knowing nothing of daily living he/she  depends on people for everything.
Excess love can stunt your ward’s character growth. Believing he/she does no wrong, you fail to correct even obvious wrongs.
Excess loyalty turns you into a zombie. Having a narrow view of life you fail to see the world view.
Excess talking makes you vulnerable. Because you won’t know when you spill your secrets.
Excess planning keeps your visions stagnated on the drawing board.
Excess comfort makes you lose a consciousness for want and poverty.
Excess work makes you miss out on what life is all about, living.
Excess is excessively excessive, do all in moderation and your life will be excellent.

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Francois

Lincoln

This is from the movie Lincoln and I have paraphrased the quote which is ever relevant to us today as we begin a new month.

“I have a compass which only shows true north. It points you true north but doesn’t show you the crevices or swamps or rivers you must cross to get to true north. If in pursuit of your destination you plunge heedless and achieve nothing but to sink in a swamp, then whats the need of knowing true north”

Lesson; What is the essence of knowing what is right if we can’t use that knowledge to become more upright in our dealings with each other. The conscience is the compass of our lives and it will always point true North. Of what importance is it to know your destination in life and then pay no attention to your present reality to allow it help you forge a path to that destination. we must be ready for the unknown in pursuing our goals, the end does not always justify the means.our reality must not be divulged from our path to achieving our goals. We must  be ready to tackle the swamps and crevices we must meet on the way to our goals. We must not look true north and forget that we must forge a path to it.
Do have a profitable month