I wish…

I am very angry and can’t concentrate. My face is flushed and my ears are warm (probably emitting smoke) and yet I cant stop being angry. I know I  should calm down and not do something I can’t undo but my heart still pounds.

I wish I can say all thats in my mind in one outburst and then say no more. I wish my mind will stop looking for what to say to counter the narrative that has been so beautifully constructed, so that I can have peace.

I wish I could close my eyes and forget that I ever got to this point of near loss of control. I wish my intestines will keep quiet for once. It seems all my insides have joined in this cacophony just to deny me of peace and quiet.

When all has failed to sleep  then I must  go. Where I know that the softness of the bed will give me more comfort than my own mind. And so I prepare to get lost in the velvety embrace of my bed.

My only hope is that when I wake, today would have never been and tomorrow will be today. But thats like getting drunk and hoping you sorrows will disappear 🙂 . 

I know I will wake up feeling the weight of today but then with a new day comes new insight into yesterday’s problems.

Anger is debilitating and paralysing in its destructive nature. It stops all sane thought and drives one to “madness”. Be careful lest you become its next victim.

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